two paragraphs ending in obscenity

it's a popular pastime of cynical disaffected youth to criticize small talk. I've done it myself occasionally. the type of thing where you mock how relatives greet each other at the airport "how was your flight?". depending on your reference point, the frustrating or funny thing about ridiculing small talk is that the criticisms are usually a dead end. we usually contribute nothing of our own that could be a small talk substitute. then some ominous voice booms an if/then statement "if 1. you dislike that when acquaintances meet they comment on the weather and 2. you lack the creativity to come up with a replacement for this staple of human conversation, then shut the fuck up." what's the weakest reason for choosing one word over another whose meaning is similar? I think it's a tie between giving in to time constraints and lacking the motivation to lookup the best fit or an altogether new word. the best reason is "it won't make an appreciable difference to the writer or reader either way." or claim that the subject of your writing transcends language and therefore even a vocabulary as large as webster's would be hopelessly unable to describe what you mean. the latter justification is kind of a cop-out, and if you used it excessively you would risk receiving accusations of being a stupid fuck.

neglect

some people maneuver through life in such refreshing ways that it's as if they grew up in another world. it's difficult to reconcile the facts that they are exposed to many of the same things I am and yet appear so untroubled. of course, this is a lie. everyone has troubles at some level, whether you see them or not is just a matter of how close you are to the person. still, when I see someone who exudes an innocent optimistic energy I want to keep my distance out of fear that getting close enough for them to notice me would contaminate their world. simultaneously, I have a conflicting interest in getting second-hand exposure to their outlook. balancing these wants has made me a skilled inconspicuous observer. if there's one positive thing that can come from a person's false construct of the way you are it's the timeless moment of bewilderment when you're standing across from them at arm's length and they are helplessly statuesque, as the intricately contrived conceptions about you that they had assembled begin to crumble due to these conceptions being in contradiction with what all six of their senses are now telling them.

the sky glows lukewarm

there are people who create work for themselves in an effort to stave off boredom. they mess things up so that they feel obligated to set things right again. also people who cannot keep themselves from telling you the whole story, when they only intended to divulge a part of it. while drowning dishes in the sink I got a smear of tomato paste on my finger and for a moment thought I was bleeding. it was odd, to bleed without pain.